


we are no heroes, my dear

by Sternstunde



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Gen, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, Luther Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Soft Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), basically a what happens after the apocalypse didnt happen, but like focusing on luther and klaus, plus some side klaus and five talkin it out, tags may be added with progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-03-02 06:16:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18805417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sternstunde/pseuds/Sternstunde
Summary: “Ben,” he repeats, then shakes his head, “look at Luther.”15 minutes later, Ben’s blinking. “His movements…”Klaus remembers.“The rave was his first time taking drugs, wasn’t it?”-In which Klaus decides that Luther needs some family bonding, but ends up arguing with Five and revealing some stuff.





	1. Number One

Ben's not wrong.

  
  
Luther would do anything to help him but only after he helps himself first.

  
  
How's a hero supposed to help anyone when he himself is suffering?  


* * *

  
  
_“I’m sorry for saying all those things,”_ Ben mutters, eyes tired, even though he’s already dead.

  
  
It’s been some days after the apocalypse which was successfully stopped in the end. The siblings are trying to get their shit together right now. It’s a lot of mental acrobatics they are doing and no one is really happy at the moment. 

  
  
He doesn’t understand at first. “Which things?”

  
  
_“...  That Luther would save you. ”_

  
  
Ah.

  
It comes to Klaus like anything else does when he’s sober.

  
  
With repressed memories and  _pain_. 

  
  
Being sober is just no fun.

  
  
_“I shouldn’t have said that.  He... he didn’t even notice… ”_

  
  
Klaus blinks before he shakes his head gently.

  
  
“But you believed it back then so those words are justified.”

  
  
He’s tired, to be honest.  Everything’s falling apart, he can’t sit still and his vision is on fire - but it’s so, so cold.

  
  
_“... I was wrong, though. ”_

  
  
Klaus doesn’t want Ben to beat himself up over matters that cannot be changed. He doesn’t want to beat himself up over matters that cannot change.

 

“It’s fine, Ben. You weren’t even wrong.”

 

At this confusion settles in Ben’s eyes, and Klaus knows he has to explain. 

 

“Luther would have helped me. In any other situation. At the rave, he just wasn’t himself.”

 

And then he waits for it-

 

_“You can’t excuse his actions like that!  Also the thing with Vanya…  he was sober then… ” _

 

Klaus sighs. “I’m not excusing them. After all, I did the same shit as he did - although I was sober, so I guess it’s even worse for me.”

 

_“What?”_

 

“Diego’s cop lady,” he mutters. 

 

It pains him. So, so much. Diego finally got permission to attend her funeral since it’s been proven that the assassination lady was responsible for her death. 

 

For Eudora Patch.

 

The name lingers bittersweet on his mind. She’s saved him, so he left her to die.

 

 _“That’s not the same,”_  mutters Ben.

 

It sounds like an excuse to Klaus.

 

“It is - neither of those actions is excused.”

 

The way Diego cried, and the way Vanya cried. The way he himself lost it and the way Ben tried to clutch his dead body, even though both know he could have never touched it.

  
  
All on his mind, all fatal, all in pain.

 

“Luther’s learning.”

 

Ben stares at him.

 

“Maybe I should too.”

 

It hurts.

 

It will always hurt.

 

* * *

  
  
Klaus notices it a few days later, but Luther continues to stare at him when they eat dinner.

 

Usually, it’s only Luther, Klaus, Five and Ben there.  Sometimes Vanya joins in, sometimes Diego does. Allison is back in L.A.

 

Whenever Vanya is there, Luther’s quiet.

 

Whenever Diego is there, Klaus’ is quiet.

 

You make mistakes, and you suffer for them.

 

Five stares at him, knowledge beyond his age in his eyes and Klaus can’t breathe.

 

But whenever they eat, Luther’s eyes are on him.

 

At first, Klaus doesn’t understand, but then he notices the way his brother seems restless, stressed and tired. Jumpy kinda.

 

Just like him, right?

 

“Ben,” he says, sitting on the couch, observing Luther having another argument with Diego. 

 

Ben looks up, curiosity in his eyes.

 

“Ben,” he repeats, then shakes his head, “look at Luther.”

 

15 minutes later, Ben’s blinking.  _“His movements…”_

 

Klaus remembers.

 

“The rave was his first time taking drugs, wasn’t it?” 

 

Talking about drugs is horrible because it makes him seek them more, but this realization is even worse. His brother might actually want to take them again.

 

 _“This isn’t good,”_ whispers Ben.

 

And Klaus understands.

 

He fears what it means, though.

 

He has to talk with Luther and no matter how much he doesn’t want Luther to go the path down into misery - talking with any of his siblings with the exception of Ben is exhausting.

 

Because no one ever listens to him.

 

No one ever looks at him, hears his words for what they really are. They just avoid his gaze and smile awkwardly, nodding their heads, probably thinking, “There he goes again - being weird, _being Klaus_.”

 

Being Klaus.

 

They have never been Klaus, but yet they can determine when something is Klaus.

 

Something is him?

 

He feels so annoyed sometimes, thinking about how they just categorize everything he does, put it in a box and write it down as unchangeable, a rule.

 

Klaus doesn’t know what they want from him, but he does know what he wants for them.

 

To stop making everything he does a  _Klaus-thing._ 

 

He’s a person, not a personality trait.

 

He just wishes people other than Ben would understand that as well.

 

_“...  Are you going to try to do something about it? ”_

 

Klaus blinks. This is new.

 

Usually, Ben would stare at him, telling him firmly that he has to do something to help someone or whatever.

 

Luther, at the rave, must have really left an impression on him.

 

All he ever had as examples for high people were Klaus and some of his “friends.” Klaus and his friends were high all the time and did weird shit, but they were used to it.

 

Used to the world of the gone their actions — whilst weird — were calm in a sense. 

 

Luther wasn’t used to it - just now found out about the feeling, stronger than ever, no tolerance, nothing to shield him. He probably remembered that relaxed feeling of bliss and wanted more, because no matter how much everyone rolled their eyes at his four-years-on-the-moon talk, Klaus knew.

 

Four years on the moon without proper company, all fucking alone, just collecting some damn rocks - and then he finds out that he did those four years for nothing.

 

Four years of his life wasted away just like that, gone beyond recovery.

 

Even only a minute is already so much time, 2’102’400 minutes is a fuckton of time. 

 

Well, to be completely exact, it was actually 2’103’795.072 minutes, so hey, that’s like 0’001’395.072 minutes more, so we can excuse it now - except no.

 

It doesn’t matter if it were 5 minutes or a million minutes, those were all minutes Luther spent away from his home, all alone.   
His siblings roll their eyes, but Klaus fears for Luther.

 

God, so much time all alone. Without anyone to talk to. Klaus knows he’s blessed, that Ben stays.

 

 

Luther didn’t have Ben. Luther didn’t have anyone and Klaus knows, that doesn’t excuse him locking Vanya into a fault, but it definitely doesn’t mean they can shove that to the side and ignore it.

 

So, he can’t let Luther get addicted - end up like him, all fucked up even more than he already is.

 

“If I don’t get to keep doing drugs, then dear Luther will also not have that luxury,” he replies.

 

Ben smiles.

 

* * *

  
  
After a lot of careful thinking, he realized that Luther probably felt lonely and stressed.  So, Klaus was going to spend a lot of time with him!

 

And Five too, because Klaus knows that no one — besides Ben — could possibly spend more than 30 minutes alone with him, without going crazy. 

 

(It kind of really hurts but he got used to it.)

 

“No,” mutters Five.

 

Except Five’s a little bitch.

 

“Ohh, come on, Five-y!” He says, grinning brightly at the other as he slides an arm around his shoulders, “it’ll be just wunderbar! Fun family bonding - all that stuff we couldn’t do whilst the apocalypse was a thing, y’ know.” 

 

Five rolls his eyes and sighs. “For a good reason, Klaus.  May I remind you?   _No one of us gets along._ ”

 

Sometimes Klaus wonders if Five thinks feelings are myths because he sure behaves like he doesn’t have them.  He can’t trick Klaus, though. Five came back to stop the fucking apocalypse for them - he definitely loved them a lot. 

 

“Ouch, you wound my poor heart! What about us and all those times we got along - like that one time I punched you in the face and then smashed a snow globe in _my_  face.”

 

Klaus is not going to lie. It’s funny riling his brother up that much. 

 

Ben sighs beside him.  _“Stop clowning around or he’ll leave.”_

 

Sadly, his beloved dead brother is right, so Klaus has to be serious or he can cancel helping Luther defeat his loneliness. 

 

“Y’ know,” he mutters when he sees Five narrowing his eyes at him, “you’ve been missing for 17 years.”

 

 _“ Klaus…” _  says Ben warningly but Klaus is not going to hold back this time - it won’t help with Five.

 

“You know,” Five spits out, “it’s been a lot longer for me.”

 

And this, exactly this, is what Klaus hates so much.

 

“Why do you guys all always compare everything painful to something else?”

 

Ben’s eyes widen and even Five seems surprised at his outburst, but Klaus just doesn’t understand it. 

 

Every time something happens, they all go around and talk about how horrible the shit that happened to them was - then they sigh or cry at the others’ pain only to forget about it or roll their eyes at it later on.

 

It’s like they think even suffering is a competition. But it isn’t,  _never_ was.

 

“Like, Five, I love you… but honestly, that was just…,” he says, shaking his head.“ I know it’s been a lot longer for you. I know you were an assassin and had to kill innocent people. I know you fucking hated it and the whole thing left scars behind but… but… that’s not the point here!”

 

He realizes he has started yelling, and he can see Ben trying to calm him down because he’s pretty sure tears are trailing down his cheeks and his heart hurts. 

 

“It’s been 17 years, Five! Everyone except Vanya thought you were dead and now… now you’re here… but it really doesn’t feel like it…”

 

It doesn’t - because Five’s always in his room, scribbling on the walls, talking about some equations or staring blankly at the wall and Klaus _gets it_. He really does, but he still wishes Five would at least try.

 

Ben’s patting his arm, and Klaus knows he’s corporeal because Five keeps glancing at Ben.

 

Klaus sighs.

 

“You know what? You’re right… maybe we all just don’t get along and never will.”

 

Then he leaves because he feels horrible for shouting.

 

Five doesn’t stop him and neither does Ben, who stays behind.

  
He’s tired.  


* * *

  
  
"I… didn't..."

 

Ben sighs.  _"Of course that's all you have to say."_

 

Five scoffs, but Ben can see behind the carefully crafted facade.

 

Five is thinking about the things Klaus _yelled_.

 

 _"You know,"_ he says, gaining Five's attention, _"contrary to belief, Klaus has always preferred the silence."_

 

It's all he has to say because understanding dawns in the other's eyes.

 

Ben sighs again.  _"I go talk with him."_

 

Five's left behind with thoughts that overwhelm him.

 

* * *

  
He admits that yelling was a childish, stupid approach.

  
  
In fact, he doesn't even remember why he yelled. What was the damn point? He got uselessly mad and now Five won't talk to him anymore, and he won't be able to help Luther.

  
  
"Ben's probably disappointed in me," he mumbles, staring at the ceiling.

  
  
Then there's a hand on his shoulder.

  
  
_"You know I'm not."_

  
  
Klaus flinches before he stares to his side. 

  
  
“Ben… ?”

  
  
Ben sighs at him. _“You know, I don’t like yelling but…  I get it.  Five can be frustrating. ”_

  
  
He shakes his head softly.

  
  
_“But you know how he is, Klaus.  It’s been always a bit harder for him to show any form of vulnerability, and now he got stuck in the apocalypse for a long time… ”  _

 

Klaus knows.

 

He really does, but…

 

“Still… I just…”

 

 _“Yeah,”_ Ben smiles, sadly, _“I also wish he’d open up a bit, but such things take time, Klaus.”_ 

 

 _You know that,_ is left unsaid.

 

“They always take time.”

 

* * *

  
  
It takes Five three days before he seeks him out, eyes filled with a small layer of guilt. 

 

“Okay,” he mutters then sighs and stares at him, “we... can do your weird family bonding thing or whatever.”

 

Ben smiles.

 

Klaus doesn’t.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luther's confused, Five refuses to acknowledge things and Klaus tries to be serious.

“A… trip?”

 

Five and Klaus are standing before him, and Luther doesn’t understand what’s happening. His day has started rather dull but that’s quite normal now. Every day’s been dim and slow since the apocalypse was prevented. 

 

“Yes,” Klaus says, nodding his head, “a fun trip! The four of us together, being the best siblings ever!”

 

To be honest, Luther isn’t too sure about going out, but Klaus really looks excited and he doesn’t want to ruin that for him.

 

So, he nods his head, although a bit hesitant. “Sure… what exactly did you want to do?”

 

Klaus smile loses a bit of its intensity, as he answers, “Well, we still haven’t made our minds up. Anything particular you want to do?”

 

Luther doesn’t know what he possibly would want to do. There’s not much that he actually  _ wants _ to do. When he was on the moon, he always told himself the moment he was back he would go and do all things possible. Everything that he couldn’t do on the moon!

 

Then another three years passed, and he came finally back – at the price of a different body, and the realization that he didn’t even know what someone could do because he was never allowed to do anything but _ train _ as a child.

 

Life started to seem dim after that.

 

All the bad things just came crashing down, and he found out that he spent four years on the moon for nothing. Luther just… didn’t see a point after that. God, he was just so damn tired. Tired enough to get high in some rave and fuck someone. Fuck someone who has – or maybe had – a boyfriend. Things couldn’t get worse than that, right?

 

No, they could, but he only realized that after the apocalypse almost happened though. He fucked up big time. Vanya’s scared of him, Allison doesn’t want to do anything with him right now, Diego hates him even more than he does, and he found out that he called his brother a liar for the past 10 years or something and was wrong. He was wrong because he couldn’t believe his medium brother when he said that he saw their dead brother.

 

With was he left? Honestly, nothing he ever did mattered.

 

It makes him think about the rave.

 

The feeling of giddiness and happiness he had for a moment.  

 

Is this why Klaus never was sober? Because he can feel temptation call him, and he is starting to understand why. 

 

“Luther?”

 

He blinks out of his thoughts, glancing at Five.

 

“Well?” Five raises an eyebrow.

 

“I… nothing really comes to mind.”

 

Klaus claps his hands at that. “Don’t worry, brother dearest! I’ll think of something marvelous and entertaining for us to do!”

 

Luther nods awkwardly. 

 

He really doesn’t want to go.

 

* * *

 

He set off a ticking time bomb in Klaus and the explosion left a mess, dirt and rubbish.

 

Klaus doesn't smile like Klaus anymore.

 

Klaus doesn't talk like Klaus anymore.

 

Klaus doesn't behave like Klaus anymore.

 

And Ben stares at him, burning holes into his mind and reminding him of his mistake.

 

_ "It's you who has to fix it. A damn family trip won't be enough." _

 

Those are the words that sit in a corner of his minds now. He's trying to suppress them to some extent, but they will always be with him until he fixes his mistake.

 

**_“Why do you guys all always compare everything painful to something else?”_ **

 

It doesn’t make sense to Five.

 

How the hell is that supposed to make sense? They never compared their pain to something else? Heck, they rarely even talk about their pain.

 

“It just doesn’t make sense,” he mutters, sighing.

 

He knows it somewhere deep down though.

 

Klaus always speaks in coded riddles, on purpose or not. 

 

He doesn’t want to acknowledge the words though.

 

Acknowledging them would mean admitting that he’s _ not  _ fine.

 

He cannot not be fine.

 

45 years in the fucking apocalypse only for him to break down afterwards? After he fixed everything? He can’t. 

 

**_“Now you’re here… but it really doesn’t feel like it…”_ **

 

No matter how much he pretends, those words did hurt, left behind a sharp pain in his chest, and he doesn’t want to think about them but he does anyway.

 

**_“Contrary to belief, Klaus has always preferred the silence."_ **

 

The words stay and stay, no matter how much he wills them to go away.

 

This is so wrong, so horrible.

 

Why can’t he just let it be, why can’t he just forget?

 

“Y’know,” someone drawls behind him, “I can feel all your negativity over here.”

 

He turns around and stares into green eyes. He narrows his eyes at Klaus, daring him to say anything wrong.

 

Klaus just chuckles. “Some positivity in your long, miserable life would do you good.”

 

“The apocalypse is averted,” he says, shaking his head, “that’s all damn positivity I need.”

 

Klaus sighs and closes his eyes.

 

Five’s reminded of their argument, of the way his brother screamed, gaze aflame. He waits for it, counts the seconds to the explosion.

 

There’s no explosion. 

 

Klaus opens his eyes and stares at him, eyes made of steel, and Five knows this will be worse than any explosion could be.

 

“Is the apocalypse the only thing important in your life?” 

 

The words cut harshly into him.

 

"Do you want everyone to die then?" he bits back.

 

"That wasn't the damn question," Klaus tells him, eyes calm and voice cold, "you're smarter than that, Five."

 

He knows this Klaus.

 

Back then, before he was the family disappointment and the drug addict, Klaus was only the fidgety and creepy kid, the clown.

 

He'd make stupid jokes, talk all the damn time and annoy everyone.

 

Sometimes though, there was a chilling gaze in his eyes and a frown on his face. 

 

Five never knew into what category to put that Klaus.

 

He rolls his eyes. "I came back to save you idiots. You surely understand what that means, don't you?" 

 

There's a challenge in his voice, but Klaus doesn't take it.

 

"Well, then start acting like it, smartass."

 

What the fuck even?

 

"Don't look at me like this, Five. Have you still not realized?"

 

And he wonders in which category he would put Klaus now.

 

"The apocalypse is over, Five."

 

"I know!" he snaps, all his walls raising.

 

"... It didn't go away peacefully."

 

Maybe it's how his brother's voice softens or how the words sink into his mind, but he calms down a bit.

 

"Vanya's scared of Luther, will be for years if not for her whole life..."

 

He knows.

 

He  _ knows. _

 

Five's the one who talked to her, told her it would all be okay.

 

"... Diego lost so many people he loves in one week..."

 

Loves as in present tense.

 

"... look, Allison can't talk to her daughter..."

 

The pain and warmth in her eyes as Vanya talked to Claire for her will always be engraved in his mind.

 

"... well, Ben's corporeal so that's nice but  _ still _ …"

 

Yeah.

 

Ben's dead.

 

"... and Luther has lost his sense of purpose…"

 

Green eyes bore into him.

 

"... just like you," he finishes.

 

Five doesn't want to think about ut, doesn't want to pay attention.

 

"But you know what's the difference between all if them and you?"

 

He doesn't. He genuinely doesn't get it.

 

"They're letting themselves break apart whilst you don't."

 

It hurts.

 

Five scoffs. "Of course I don't."

 

"The apocalypse is over, Five. You said it yourself."

 

He knows. He's seen all the newspaper after the first of April.

 

"You know," Klaus starts, there's something drowning in his eyes, "it's okay to fall apart, to break."

 

Five doesn't get it.

 

"It's okay to fall apart, so you can glue yourself together."

 

Five suddenly realizes that Klaus hasn't mentioned himself.

 

**_“Contrary to belief, Klaus has always preferred the silence."_ **

 

Maybe it's starting to make sense.

 

"It's okay to heal."

 

"Even after 45 years."

 

There's no category he could put that idiot in.

 

Klaus sighs.

 

* * *

 

Luther's sitting by the makeshift garden he started recently.

 

There's just something calming about planting things.

 

There's just something distracting about it.

 

Don't think about flashes of colors, loud music, loud laughter and that damn feeling.

 

That lightness-

 

"Luther."

 

Five's standing beside him, blue eyes gazing at the ground.

 

"... Five?"

 

"You… let's think of something to do on the trip."

 

Something in his brother's voice sounds so raw.

 

Luther can't say no to that.

 

He doesn't want to do the trip but…

 

"Okay."

 

* * *

 

_ "It's going to be fine, Klaus." _

 

Klaus shakes his head, face pressed into his pillow.

 

Ben sighs. , 

 

_ "And even if it's not going to be fine, you'll have me by your side." _

 

"I shouldn't have talked to Five like that."

 

Ben raises an eyebrow.  _ "You said worse." _

 

"Yeah but… but not such bullshit."

 

_ "We both know it isn't bullshit." _

 

"..."

 

_ "You know." _

 

* * *

 

"Let's go camping," Five tells him, Luther smiling behind him.

 

Klaus blinks and turns to Ben.

 

"We are going to die, Ben."

 

_ "Too late, I'm already dead." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, since Klaus had his moral predict or whatever, you can expect Ben and Five having theirs in the last chapter + plus a loooot more Luther. 
> 
> Hope the stars shine for you and me bc im gonna go sleep for three days im tired af


	3. Chapter 3

He doesn’t want to talk to Luther. 

 

He made that realization long before but it’s only now settling in his mind, taking over his thoughts and wonders. How does he talk to someone with whom he never really talked before? 

 

He put on this stupid, brave facade and told himself he could deal with someone's else feelings as well.

 

He couldn't.

 

"When are we there, Five-y?" he asks his brother.

 

His brother who stole the car from their adult-looking brother so now Ben keeps being worried about the police pulling them to the side.

 

Said brother responds with a sigh. "You asked this one minute ago, and we still have two hours left."

 

"Thank you!"

 

He doesn't like the answer, two hours are way too long. Oh, well, he'll just ask him again in a few minutes.

 

Instead, his eyes wander to Luther who's sitting beside him, reading a book on some plants. Last time Klaus asked him, Luther said he was going to try and grow those plants after the trip.  _ At least he got something that will keep him sane. _

 

_ "Klaus?" _

 

Ben's sitting at the front beside Five. He spent the past hour looking out the window and grinning at all the trees. At least the trip had done one good thing so far.

 

_ "Are you okay?" _

 

"Benny, my boy, the sun's out and the air is clear. I feel grandiose! Just wonderful with a side dish of it's  _ too  _ early to be awake."

 

Ben rolls his eyes at him but the grin still remains on his face.

 

It warms his heart.

 

At least Ben’s happy in this whole mess.

 

Klaus kind of regrets it now though. He really isn’t the best person to speak with Luther about growing drug addiction. Of course, he probably knows the dangers of drugs better than any of his other siblings but even though he’s trying to stay sober he still doesn’t really want to. It’s difficult.

 

It’s difficult when the ghosts won’t ever leave him.

 

_ But _ , a voice in his mind whispers,  _ Luther deserves better than that. _

 

And he does.

 

So that’s why—even though it bothers him so much—he’ll talk to Luther about his growing addiction.

 

For now, though, he’ll wait.

 

“Five-y~ How far have we come?”

 

“It’s been ten minutes, Dipshit.”

 

* * *

 

Luther doesn’t know how to feel about this trip at all. He doesn’t even want to be on it but for some reason, Klaus, Ben and even  _ Five  _ want to go camping with him out of all people. For a moment he wonders why it’s not Diego. Diego might enjoy it more than he ever will. Diego’s also good at that kind of stuff and he knows how to handle Klaus.

 

_ Diego also spends a lot of time in a graveyard, talking to the sky above them _ , his mind reminds him.

 

He feels guilty about that. That’s not his fault he knows. He’s fucked up things for every one of his siblings but the one he likes the least. But maybe it was never about liking someone the least or the best.

 

As he helps set up the tent he notices that Five is staring at him and he wonders why. Too many things have happened that do not make sense to him in the past few days. 

 

And then there’s this unwell feeling in him, settling like the calm before the storm. He doesn’t want to but he thinks about the rave. 

 

_ “Luther!” _

 

He blinks and looks at Ben.

 

_ “Klaus ran off. Could you fetch him?” _

 

Now he notices the chain of curse words coming out of Five’s mouth and he nods. Ben smiles at him and points into the direction their brother went off. Luther walks towards it, wondering why Klaus ran off.

 

He ends up facing a river.

 

The water isn’t as clear as he expected but it still looks nice. Klaus is there, sitting on a large rock. Luther doesn’t even have to say anything for the other to turn around and wave at him.

 

“Luther! Look at the river!”

 

He can’t help but smile a bit.

 

His brother is so silly sometimes but it warms his heart nowadays. Before the apocalypse though,  he’d probably have called Klaus’ behavior foolish. 

 

Sometimes Luther wonders why it took him an almost-apocalypse to appreciate Klaus more. 

 

But then he’d think about the number one and all things their father ever said, and a cold feeling would settle in him.

 

He sits down on the ground beside Klaus and stares at the water.

 

“Why did you run off?”

 

“Because I wanted to talk to someone.”  _ With you, _  is left unsaid.

 

“What if it wasn’t me who came to find you?”

 

Klaus glances at him and grins.

 

“I would have talked with Ben or Five too, you know. I think we all need a good, long conversation with every one of our siblings. For example, after we get back, I really want to talk with Vanya and Diego.” 

 

Luther isn’t stupid. He knows exactly why they made this trip the moment he hears those words.

 

“Are you going on a trip with Vanya and Diego next?”

 

Klaus hums a bit before answering and Luther understands that the other’s thinking, weighing countless possibilities against each other. Five and he are kind of similar in that aspect. They tend to look at more side than one. It scares him in some way. Luther spent a big part of his life thinking Klaus was weak or stupid, even though the other was pretty much capable of keeping up with Five when he was sober. 

 

“Probably not,” Klaus answers eventually, staring up at the sky, “I want to have different kinds of conversations with them than with any of you three.”

 

He ponders a moment about what kind of conversation Klaus probably would want with him. It seems as if Klaus is able to read his thoughts because he gets his answer a few minutes later.

 

“I’m sober right now, Luther.”

 

It catches him off guard. What is the other planning?

 

“You are sober as well.”

 

Oh.

 

Of course, anyone would notice. Of course,  _ Klaus _ would notice.

 

“...”

 

He’s not sure how to respond to that. Denying it wouldn’t work but confirming it feels strange too.  _ You’re ashamed, _ the voice inside his mind whispers.

 

And he knows he is.

 

“I spent so many years being anything but sober,” Klaus tells him, “I kind of get it, Luther. It’s nice not to care.”

 

It’s nice not to care.

 

The unwell feeling is back again and he feels so uncomfortable.

 

“But it also sucks, let’s be honest. Luther, you started a garden.”

 

This throws him off.

 

“Do you want the plants to die?”

 

What?

 

“Sometimes, sometimes there were days where I wouldn’t stand up, maybe even couldn’t. It’s a heavy feeling a day but a really light one the next day. Sometimes… if it weren’t for Ben…”

 

Oh.

 

Luther feels like shit.

 

* * *

 

_ “Do you think they’ll be fine?” _

 

Five sighs. “Yeah, they are going to be okay. Klaus is too stubborn for anything else.”

 

_ “Ah no, I meant, safe.” _

 

Five raises an eyebrow at that.

 

_ “What? We’re in a forest, that’s like the perfect place for Klaus to questionable, weird things or just set the forest on fire.” _

 

And Five can’t really argue with that. Klaus does have some strange fascination with setting things on fire. Actually, Five does too. 

 

“Say… does Klaus even know how he’s going to breach the topic with Luther?”

 

_ “Nope.” _

 

Of course.

 

_ “But it’ll be fine. Klaus is good at talking with people when he’s sober.” _

 

Five admits that he doesn’t really know how a sober Klaus behaves. It’s been weeks since the apocalypse and he barely talked to Klaus. 

 

_ “You know, Klaus gets it and so do I.” _

 

He looks at the ghost, wondering what he means.

 

_ “It’s hard to move on.” _

 

Maybe at some point, he would have argued with Ben but now he sees beyond those words. And really, Ben’s a ghost and Klaus is the only reason they can communicate with him. There’s no moving on for people at the verge of life and death.

 

There’s no moving on for people who can still feel it’s bitter, cold hands around their throat.

 

* * *

 

“But that’s not the point, Luther. The point is… there’s no easy way out of life. Or death for a matter. That’s just how things are.”

 

He feels like breaking apart when he sees Luther’s eyes. 

 

_ Healing is a fickle process. _

 

Luther has to admit to himself that something is wrong.

 

Klaus can’t make that realization for him nor can he say he’s better.

 

“I…”

 

“Take some time and think, Luther.”

 

* * *

 

_ “Klaus! Luther!” _

Ben smiles at his brothers. Luther smiles back.

 

Oh.

 

_ “So, did it go well?”  _ he asks Klaus the moment Luther dragged away by Five to help set up the tents.

 

Klaus shrugs. “Wouldn’t know. I’m not good at these things.”

 

Ben sighs. But when he glances at Luther…

 

_ “I think you did well.” _

 

Klaus blinks at him. “Benny, are you okay?”

 

_ “I’m perfectly fine if we ignore the lack of a body.” _

 

Klaus grins at him. “That does sound rather concerning.”

 

_ “Sure does,” _ Ben replies with a grin. 

 

“Can you two stop being creepy and help set up the damn tent!”

 

“But Five-y! Being creepy is our trademark!”

 

_ “What would you do without your daily scare!” _

 

“I’d be saner for sure.”

 

And then they hear it.

 

Luther’s laughter.

 

_ “... Told you.” _

 

Klaus doesn’t reply but he’s smiling so Ben counts it as a win for all of them. Even grumpy Five. 

 

* * *

 

In the end, the camping trip is actually a success if you ignore the fact that Klaus somewhat “accidentally” managed to set the forest on fire. 

 

As for Luther? 

 

Well, Vanya ends up overhearing him making a doctor's appointment before Klaus drags her away to Diego's room for a good, old sibling talk hour. She thinks about their garden for a moment and then reminds herself that it's going to be okay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably not the ideal ending, I admit. Hmm, I just don't think you can stress and heal everything with one conversation. So that's why Luther doesn't really reply. He's hesitant talking about it and Klaus gets it. 
> 
> Ah, well, right now I have not much to say. I'll be finishing there are secrets between life and death and in the future when I'll have time, I might write an actual better second conversation as a sequel. After Luther books the appointment. Or maybe whilst he does.
> 
> Eh, sorry, I'm just really bad at endings.
> 
> Hope the stars shine brightly upon you!

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is about Luther and Klaus talking because Klaus is legit the opposite of Luther, but in that rave - just for one moment - they changed roles.
> 
> This fic will have three chapters. This one was the introduction, next one will be Five and Klaus making up + Luther being confused. The last chapter will be Luther + Klaus having a talk and probably Ben + Five.
> 
> Also, just to mention it once, both Five and Klaus weren't in the right. 
> 
> I hope the stars shine brightly for you!


End file.
